Texted back and forth with my sister Mel today. She was pleased that mom had eaten enchiladas with the family for Sunday dinner today ~ surprised me, but glad to hear mom is going out on a limb!
Mom's hair started coming out yesterday, and today it is falling out in clumps. Breaks my heart to hear this, and told Mel I am glad she is with her right now, as I couldn't bear to see that. Mel said she was wishing it would have fallen out when she was still here, but will take her tomorrow to get a buzz. Mom put her new wig on today. Will take some time to get used to it, but eventually we all will.
Mom is in good spirits but tires easily. Sometimes the thought of her having cancer seems like a bad dream, and then I realize it is not. It is really happening. Somehow I never thought mom would have to endure any suffering of that kind, as she has had a tough enough life. Sometimes it makes me angry, and sometimes I just accept it and know we will get through it. Seems like there are so many horrible people in this world ~ why can't one of them get cancer. I will never understand how the world works and goes round. Seems like so much insanity at times, and at other times, it all seems perfect.
The kids kept saying the other night while we were eating round the dinner table, that it just didn't seem right with grandma not here. Wishing she was with us still, but knowing she has to be in the cities now for her treatments and surgery. Sometimes it overwhelms her...the thought of being away from home so long. And then we talk about what we will look forward to...we wil come up and do spring lawn work, while mom can watch us rake and wash windows....she said that will keep her doing. And the thought of some drive-in food!
Wishing I could take all moms pain and worry away ~ and since I can't, I will pray and pray. The only thing I can do right now~
Until next time~
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