Texted back and forth with my sister Mel today. She was pleased that mom had eaten enchiladas with the family for Sunday dinner today ~ surprised me, but glad to hear mom is going out on a limb!
Mom's hair started coming out yesterday, and today it is falling out in clumps. Breaks my heart to hear this, and told Mel I am glad she is with her right now, as I couldn't bear to see that. Mel said she was wishing it would have fallen out when she was still here, but will take her tomorrow to get a buzz. Mom put her new wig on today. Will take some time to get used to it, but eventually we all will.
Mom is in good spirits but tires easily. Sometimes the thought of her having cancer seems like a bad dream, and then I realize it is not. It is really happening. Somehow I never thought mom would have to endure any suffering of that kind, as she has had a tough enough life. Sometimes it makes me angry, and sometimes I just accept it and know we will get through it. Seems like there are so many horrible people in this world ~ why can't one of them get cancer. I will never understand how the world works and goes round. Seems like so much insanity at times, and at other times, it all seems perfect.
The kids kept saying the other night while we were eating round the dinner table, that it just didn't seem right with grandma not here. Wishing she was with us still, but knowing she has to be in the cities now for her treatments and surgery. Sometimes it overwhelms her...the thought of being away from home so long. And then we talk about what we will look forward to...we wil come up and do spring lawn work, while mom can watch us rake and wash windows....she said that will keep her doing. And the thought of some drive-in food!
Wishing I could take all moms pain and worry away ~ and since I can't, I will pray and pray. The only thing I can do right now~
Until next time~
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Goodbye Maddie Lou ='0( 11-10-12
It's hunting season again ~ seems like last year's season just ended! The guys have not had much success this year, and the weather has been cold and damp. Yesterday it lightly rained all day, much like a mist in the produce section of the grocery store. Enough to make one wet and cold in a short time.
Toby and I drove out to his mom and dad's yesterday about noon to bury our dog Maddie. She had been with us for 12 years, just turned 12 years old on Sept 9th, 2012. She was getting a little worse each day, and the last week it was as if she was losing her memory completely. She would sit and bark in the garage, not even by the door, just sitting in the middle of the floor doing nothing. It made us sad and we kept making excuses. When mom got here, she said we just needed to do the right thing for Maddie. So Toby and I talked about it, made a decision on Thursday night, Nov 1st, and talked to the kids, who were crushed, but decided we must bring her to the vet to be put to sleep. The next day I called there, they had an appointment for 2:30 available in Hawley, so TOby's mom said she would come and pick Maddie up and take her. I watched Brooks lay on the floor next to her shortly before he left, and it broke my heart. She was his best buddy in this whole world. I remembered the time he held her singing "you are so beautiful", even though she was in desperate need of a grooming. He loved that dog more than any of us, but we all did. Carol pulled up, I called Maddie to the door, and she came out with me, running into the grass to go potty, looking at me with those big brown eyes, so sweet. When I picked her up I felt yet another big tumor on her underside, this one up by her armpit. I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do, said goodbye to our companion, while the tears poured down my face. Toby's mom drove off, and took care of the difficult choice for us. I stood yesterday at his mom and dad's while he dug a hole for her grave. It was misting out and cold, just such a depressing day. As he picked up the box to carry her over to the grave, tears filled his eyes and ran down his cheeks, along with me doing the same. Before he filled in the hole, I thanked Maddie for all the good memories she brought to our family. She is buried next to Mickey. Rylan wanted God to give his pup back, but is also glad to know Maddie is now playing with Katie's old dog, Patch.
Toby and I drove out to his mom and dad's yesterday about noon to bury our dog Maddie. She had been with us for 12 years, just turned 12 years old on Sept 9th, 2012. She was getting a little worse each day, and the last week it was as if she was losing her memory completely. She would sit and bark in the garage, not even by the door, just sitting in the middle of the floor doing nothing. It made us sad and we kept making excuses. When mom got here, she said we just needed to do the right thing for Maddie. So Toby and I talked about it, made a decision on Thursday night, Nov 1st, and talked to the kids, who were crushed, but decided we must bring her to the vet to be put to sleep. The next day I called there, they had an appointment for 2:30 available in Hawley, so TOby's mom said she would come and pick Maddie up and take her. I watched Brooks lay on the floor next to her shortly before he left, and it broke my heart. She was his best buddy in this whole world. I remembered the time he held her singing "you are so beautiful", even though she was in desperate need of a grooming. He loved that dog more than any of us, but we all did. Carol pulled up, I called Maddie to the door, and she came out with me, running into the grass to go potty, looking at me with those big brown eyes, so sweet. When I picked her up I felt yet another big tumor on her underside, this one up by her armpit. I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do, said goodbye to our companion, while the tears poured down my face. Toby's mom drove off, and took care of the difficult choice for us. I stood yesterday at his mom and dad's while he dug a hole for her grave. It was misting out and cold, just such a depressing day. As he picked up the box to carry her over to the grave, tears filled his eyes and ran down his cheeks, along with me doing the same. Before he filled in the hole, I thanked Maddie for all the good memories she brought to our family. She is buried next to Mickey. Rylan wanted God to give his pup back, but is also glad to know Maddie is now playing with Katie's old dog, Patch.
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