Returning home from Minneapolis on Saturday with mom, our drive was nice. We laughed and visited all the way, hoping to get home before the snow hit. The flurries started shortly before we did get home, so that was good.
Brooks walked in the door to find that he had a black eye and very swollen nose and left eye. We found out that the night before he had been out with friends at the Sports Zone downtown in Fargo, when most of the group left, leaving him and Robby. They walked out to go, when Robby said he needed to run back in and use the restroom. Upon doing so, Brooks waited outside and fell victim to a group of thugs, who jumped and beat him. He was pretty banged up ~ didn't remember anything from the time he was jumped, to waking up in the back of someone's car...a strange car, and a strange man driving it. He said he was terrified and when he got the chance, he jumped out. Not sure if that is where he got all the abrasions on his body, or when he was being beaten and kicked. He ended up running all the way back to his apartment out past West Acres from downtown, probably about a 5-6 mile trip. He ran home in his cowboy boots, and luckily had his wallet and phone in them, as the thugs were unsuccessful in robbing him.
Every time I closed my eyes for the first couple of nights after this, all I could see was a vision of my sweet son, being kicked and beaten. Broke my heart, and grandma Jo's too. Wish we could have hidden it from her, but didn't want to lie, and Brooks' face was too banged up to hide it. So thankful today that he is alive and not hurt worse. Praying he never goes to a bar again ~ and maybe finds some new friends too.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Finally, a little sunshine!
Finally a little sunshine!
This past week has been a rollercoaster or emotions. Last Friday Toby and I tagged along with my sister to bring our mom to her first chemo treatment. We were up at the crack of dawn to leave the house, headed for the U of MN in downtown Minneapolis. She was to check in by 6:30am, and so we did. First thing on the adgenda for mom was implanting the port into her upper chest. This required surgery, which went well and fairly quick. She was prepped and taken down about 7:30, and brought back to her room just before 10am. While she was busy with that, we went down to the lounge coffee shop and had a coffee and snack. Once she got back to the room she was hungry as usual ~ so had a bit of breakfast before being wheeled off to the Masonic Center for her chemo treatment. We arrived about 11, so a bit after what they had expected to be the start time of 10:30. But no worries....they took us down the hall to her place, and on the way stopped for the "important stuff", which was a station with a coffee pot, refridgerator and drawers full of snacks and treats. We were told to help ourselves anytime, not just for mom, but for any visitors too. Everyone was so nice ~ exceptional care mom received. She started with the pre-treatment, which consisted of 45 minutes of IV, Benedryl 100 mg, for allergic reactions and also made mom very drowsy. Then a drip of two other things, one to coat her stomach, the other slips my mind. Once those were complete, she got the first dose of chemo, which dripped and dripped for 3 hours. This was much better than expected...no reactions, and mom felt fine. Thank the Good Lord for that...then the final drip which lasted 1.5 hours, finishing the day off about 4:30pm. The pharmacist came with her meds, went over them with mom, and off we went. Toby walked to get the truck in the parking lot and drove right up to pick us up. On our way back to Mel's we went. Got home about 6:30 after being stuck in cities traffic for too long...to find Jon and the girls listening to some nice smooth jazz music, which we enjoyed while eating supper. Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes and gravy it was ~ and so delicious! Mom even ate...but pretty exhausted and ice cold, she went to bed early. Mom survived the day ~ and we did too. So glad we went along, as it taught us that this was not as bad as we expected, and it was actually as pleasant as we could expect. Hoping each treatment goes this well ~ for now, we will deal with the days to come.
This past week has been a rollercoaster or emotions. Last Friday Toby and I tagged along with my sister to bring our mom to her first chemo treatment. We were up at the crack of dawn to leave the house, headed for the U of MN in downtown Minneapolis. She was to check in by 6:30am, and so we did. First thing on the adgenda for mom was implanting the port into her upper chest. This required surgery, which went well and fairly quick. She was prepped and taken down about 7:30, and brought back to her room just before 10am. While she was busy with that, we went down to the lounge coffee shop and had a coffee and snack. Once she got back to the room she was hungry as usual ~ so had a bit of breakfast before being wheeled off to the Masonic Center for her chemo treatment. We arrived about 11, so a bit after what they had expected to be the start time of 10:30. But no worries....they took us down the hall to her place, and on the way stopped for the "important stuff", which was a station with a coffee pot, refridgerator and drawers full of snacks and treats. We were told to help ourselves anytime, not just for mom, but for any visitors too. Everyone was so nice ~ exceptional care mom received. She started with the pre-treatment, which consisted of 45 minutes of IV, Benedryl 100 mg, for allergic reactions and also made mom very drowsy. Then a drip of two other things, one to coat her stomach, the other slips my mind. Once those were complete, she got the first dose of chemo, which dripped and dripped for 3 hours. This was much better than expected...no reactions, and mom felt fine. Thank the Good Lord for that...then the final drip which lasted 1.5 hours, finishing the day off about 4:30pm. The pharmacist came with her meds, went over them with mom, and off we went. Toby walked to get the truck in the parking lot and drove right up to pick us up. On our way back to Mel's we went. Got home about 6:30 after being stuck in cities traffic for too long...to find Jon and the girls listening to some nice smooth jazz music, which we enjoyed while eating supper. Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes and gravy it was ~ and so delicious! Mom even ate...but pretty exhausted and ice cold, she went to bed early. Mom survived the day ~ and we did too. So glad we went along, as it taught us that this was not as bad as we expected, and it was actually as pleasant as we could expect. Hoping each treatment goes this well ~ for now, we will deal with the days to come.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Cry out to God ~
“God will always give what is right to his people who cry to him night and day, and he will not be slow to answer them.” (Luke 18:7)
So good to hear mom's voice last night ~
On a typical day I would try to call mom somewhere between 4:30 and 5:15pm. Sometimes on our way home from work in the truck, we would put her on the Sync system and both Toby and I could enjoy our phone visits at the same time. Seems like mom was always happy to hear Toby was also on the line...since she got this terrible news and left for the cities we haven't been able to call mom at home. So many times I catch myself reaching for my phone to dial the 218 area code, then realize she is not at home. Kind of makes me want to have her number forwarded to Mel's...just so I can still dial it. Guess I could dial it anyway and leave her a message at home ~ bet other people do that!
Mom sounded sad last night ~ broke my heart to hear her feeling of being homesick. I told her in two days Toby and I will be on our way to the cities to see her, and be there for support when she has her first chemo treatment. She mentioned maybe after that she could tag along and come home with us. I thought she was kidding at first, but she said it again, and I realized she is truly homesick. Being a bit closer to Roseau at our house was sounding good to her...since we are about halfway home :) Wasn't til a bit later that I think I figured out the puzzle. She mentioned Brooks had sent her the nicest message, not on FB, but on that other thing...oh ya, the CaringBridge site. Mel must have printed it off for her ~ so after saying goodbye and hanging up, I looked up the guestbook messages. Brooks did leave the nicest message ~ gave me tears as I read it. This must be the reason for her sudden feelings of homesickness ~ made her think of all the good times in the living room in Roseau ~ in the comfort of her own home, that her and Brooks shared while he lived with her. So thankful he did ~ I have seen many times how much this meant to mom, to have someone to spend time with after dad died 5 years ago ~ but maybe it meant even more than we realized. Thank you Brooks for being a wonderful grandson. You make me so proud. Below is a copy of the message Aaron left for his beloved Grandma Jo on her CB site:
Hi Grandma! Hope your getting better! I
really miss you and have been thinking of you night and day. Can't wait to see you soon. Love you grandma!
-aaron
Next is one from Brooks:
Grandma,
Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you everyday. I've been sitting here thinking of all the fun times we've had together, the countless nights of watching TV shows in your living room, the talks we've had on various subjects, or just having an afternoon snack after I got back from school. I'm so thankful for everything you've done for me, you truly hold a special place in my heart. I look forward to having many more memories with you, and I love you very much.
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with god all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26
See you soon, Brooks
So proud of our kids...Grandma Jo is blessed beyond belief with amazing love from so many. 11 amazing grandchildren to love her...
Mom sounded sad last night ~ broke my heart to hear her feeling of being homesick. I told her in two days Toby and I will be on our way to the cities to see her, and be there for support when she has her first chemo treatment. She mentioned maybe after that she could tag along and come home with us. I thought she was kidding at first, but she said it again, and I realized she is truly homesick. Being a bit closer to Roseau at our house was sounding good to her...since we are about halfway home :) Wasn't til a bit later that I think I figured out the puzzle. She mentioned Brooks had sent her the nicest message, not on FB, but on that other thing...oh ya, the CaringBridge site. Mel must have printed it off for her ~ so after saying goodbye and hanging up, I looked up the guestbook messages. Brooks did leave the nicest message ~ gave me tears as I read it. This must be the reason for her sudden feelings of homesickness ~ made her think of all the good times in the living room in Roseau ~ in the comfort of her own home, that her and Brooks shared while he lived with her. So thankful he did ~ I have seen many times how much this meant to mom, to have someone to spend time with after dad died 5 years ago ~ but maybe it meant even more than we realized. Thank you Brooks for being a wonderful grandson. You make me so proud. Below is a copy of the message Aaron left for his beloved Grandma Jo on her CB site:
Hi Grandma! Hope your getting better! I
really miss you and have been thinking of you night and day. Can't wait to see you soon. Love you grandma!
-aaron
Next is one from Brooks:
Grandma,
Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you everyday. I've been sitting here thinking of all the fun times we've had together, the countless nights of watching TV shows in your living room, the talks we've had on various subjects, or just having an afternoon snack after I got back from school. I'm so thankful for everything you've done for me, you truly hold a special place in my heart. I look forward to having many more memories with you, and I love you very much.
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with god all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26
See you soon, Brooks
So proud of our kids...Grandma Jo is blessed beyond belief with amazing love from so many. 11 amazing grandchildren to love her...
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Mom, Get Well Please ~
Oct 16, 2012 10am
Dear Mom.
I woke up this morning and felt like this is all some bad dream. I think back to the day the doctor told you what she found during surgery, and how strong and positive you are. You amaze me mom, and I want you to know how proud of you that I am. My whole family is ~ we all think you are the best person we know, and have ever known. The example you set in the way you have lived your life is something we are all blessed to witness. Pleading with God about this in my prayers, I had to ask why after all you have had to deal with in life, does this have to happen. It is then that He gently reminds me that my mom has been blessed more than most…with the important things in this life, things like your amazing quality for honesty, your gentleness, kindness, compassion for others, forgiveness, peace, great love of Jesus, being a wonderful caring mom, faithfully loving your husband when he was not easy to love, you have always been content with the simple things in life, a wonderful grandma you are, your grandchildren adore you, as do your kids, you are a great friend to many, you love old people and animals…. the list goes on and on. Looking at this, you have been incredibly blessed. So mom, I know you will keep your chin up and get through this. Just had to let you know how thankful I am that you are my mom. COuldn’t have picked a better one! Wishing I was going to be there when you see the doctor at the U of MN, but we will be there when you have surgery ok!
You are in our prayers ~and we send lots of hugs!
We love you,
Steph , Toby and the fam
Dear Mom.
I woke up this morning and felt like this is all some bad dream. I think back to the day the doctor told you what she found during surgery, and how strong and positive you are. You amaze me mom, and I want you to know how proud of you that I am. My whole family is ~ we all think you are the best person we know, and have ever known. The example you set in the way you have lived your life is something we are all blessed to witness. Pleading with God about this in my prayers, I had to ask why after all you have had to deal with in life, does this have to happen. It is then that He gently reminds me that my mom has been blessed more than most…with the important things in this life, things like your amazing quality for honesty, your gentleness, kindness, compassion for others, forgiveness, peace, great love of Jesus, being a wonderful caring mom, faithfully loving your husband when he was not easy to love, you have always been content with the simple things in life, a wonderful grandma you are, your grandchildren adore you, as do your kids, you are a great friend to many, you love old people and animals…. the list goes on and on. Looking at this, you have been incredibly blessed. So mom, I know you will keep your chin up and get through this. Just had to let you know how thankful I am that you are my mom. COuldn’t have picked a better one! Wishing I was going to be there when you see the doctor at the U of MN, but we will be there when you have surgery ok!
You are in our prayers ~and we send lots of hugs!
We love you,
Steph , Toby and the fam
Hug your mom today ~
I sit today listening to the rain gently falling outside, cars driving past splashing through puddles. Seems the harder I try focusing on the paperwork my desk holds, the harder it is to concentrate. All I can think of is how quickly life can change, how five minutes in one day can change the future forever.
Two weeks ago I sat near my mom's bed at Altru Hospital. She was recovering from surgery that morning. Earlier that day we got up early to get to the hospital for her hysterectomy. She was going to have her uterine prolapse and bladder issues fixed. Little did we know what the doctors would find that day. It is clear in my mind, although when I sat there trying to take it all in, it was as if the world stopped turning. This is how it unfolded.
3am woke up to find mom still awake...She hadn't slept all night after taking the laxative to prepare her for surgery this morning. We arrived at the hospital at 5:10am, checked her in and I sat waiting in the lobby alone. Just after throwing away the empty coffee cup I sat down again, to be greeted by mom's surgeon, Dr. Tanna Setness Hoefs. She pulled up a chair and introduced herself. She started telling me she had bad news. Mom was ok, and in recovery, but upon using the camera scope for the laproscopic hysterectomy, they noticed a spot on mom's omentum. Something that didn't look right, so agreed with the Urologist assisting that they must open mom up to take a further look. Upon doing so, they found a large mass on mom's ovary and and wrapped around her colon. This indicates cancer, and was much too complicated for them to handle. So she stitched mom up and came to share the news with me. Tears filled my eyes as she grabbed my hand to offer some comfort. I remember hearing the words, but it was as if the world stopped turning...everything turned fuzzy, and the words reached my ears as if muffled in a tunnel. Could this really be happening? And if it really is happening, why would this be happening to a wonderful lady like my mom? Hasn't she been through enough sadness in her life? Enough struggle? I mean, aren't there so many wicked people in this world that deserve this? Certainly not my mom. There has to be some mistake. I thanked the doctor and grabbed my purse, barely able to see through the river of tears that were now falling. I walked out into the lobby, called Lindsey and left her a pitiful message to call me. She called back right away, already on her way to the hospital with her 2 1/2 week old baby Adlee. Waiting for her, I called Mel, struggling not to cry, but unsuccessful to say the least. After talking to Mel, I tried Geoff, but got his voicemail, leaving an upbeat message to call me asap. I then called Toby...cried my heart out while sharing the bad news with him. He cried with me. Shortly after hanging up I called mom's sister Lenay. She is as tough as nails...nails made of lead, but inside, I knew she was torn up. She was going to call mom's brother Bernie, so one less call for me to make. Thankful for that. I then called dad's sister Lassa. She calls mom three times a day, and was so very worried. She said she would take care of calling Dave and Jan. Just then a dear older woman walked over to me and asked if I would like to meet with a chaplain. I wholeheartedly said yes...and she led me into a private little room off the waiting room lobby.
Knock knock....the chaplain has arrived. A kind soul, a very gentle spirited man. Happened to be the same man that was there the morning my dad died 5 years ago. Thank you Lord for sending someone so special. He listened through my sobs to what I had just found out about my dear mom, and gave a kind smile, just before we prayed. Then another knock at the door, and Lindsey and baby Adlee walked in. She set down the carseat and just hugged me. Grandma Jo is very special to all the kids, but Lindsey and her grandma have a special bond, formed when Lindsey was very small. She took care of Lindsey on many occasions and they spent so much time together. Lindsey wiped tears, then sat down while we visited with one other pastor and prayed again. Soon they told us we could go up to mom's room as she was out of recovery and in her room.
In room 407 we found a very special and dear woman. A woman who never complains. She was in and out of sleep coming out of the anestesia. The doctor told me she would be happy to explain everything if I did not feel comfortable doing so. Lindsey felt we should wait until mom was awake and clearly thinking. Shortly after that, the doctor walked in to explain what she had found during surgery. Mom received the bad news like any other, and quietly said while holding the doctor's hand "it is as it is, and we will deal with it as a family." Never once did she mention that she has been doctoring for over 2 years now, and why didn't anyone find this!! I was feeling like screaming that from the top of my lungs, but mom being the amazing woman she is, instead, thanked her doctor for finding the mass. After the doctor left I apologized for not telling her sooner, but told her we thought it might be best to wait for the doctor. She told me she thought something was up when she looked at me. I tried not to cry, but anyone that knows me at all, knows I wear my heart on my sleeve, available for all to see my emotions, like it or not.
Toby showed up shortly after the doctor had shared the news....locked his office to drive up to GF to give me support on this sad day. He is the best husband and best friend a woman could ask for. Aaron came along. Toby told me later, on the drive home that night, Aaron sobbed quietly while looking out the window in the dark. Everyone loves Grandma so much. This just can't be happening.
Two weeks ago I sat near my mom's bed at Altru Hospital. She was recovering from surgery that morning. Earlier that day we got up early to get to the hospital for her hysterectomy. She was going to have her uterine prolapse and bladder issues fixed. Little did we know what the doctors would find that day. It is clear in my mind, although when I sat there trying to take it all in, it was as if the world stopped turning. This is how it unfolded.
3am woke up to find mom still awake...She hadn't slept all night after taking the laxative to prepare her for surgery this morning. We arrived at the hospital at 5:10am, checked her in and I sat waiting in the lobby alone. Just after throwing away the empty coffee cup I sat down again, to be greeted by mom's surgeon, Dr. Tanna Setness Hoefs. She pulled up a chair and introduced herself. She started telling me she had bad news. Mom was ok, and in recovery, but upon using the camera scope for the laproscopic hysterectomy, they noticed a spot on mom's omentum. Something that didn't look right, so agreed with the Urologist assisting that they must open mom up to take a further look. Upon doing so, they found a large mass on mom's ovary and and wrapped around her colon. This indicates cancer, and was much too complicated for them to handle. So she stitched mom up and came to share the news with me. Tears filled my eyes as she grabbed my hand to offer some comfort. I remember hearing the words, but it was as if the world stopped turning...everything turned fuzzy, and the words reached my ears as if muffled in a tunnel. Could this really be happening? And if it really is happening, why would this be happening to a wonderful lady like my mom? Hasn't she been through enough sadness in her life? Enough struggle? I mean, aren't there so many wicked people in this world that deserve this? Certainly not my mom. There has to be some mistake. I thanked the doctor and grabbed my purse, barely able to see through the river of tears that were now falling. I walked out into the lobby, called Lindsey and left her a pitiful message to call me. She called back right away, already on her way to the hospital with her 2 1/2 week old baby Adlee. Waiting for her, I called Mel, struggling not to cry, but unsuccessful to say the least. After talking to Mel, I tried Geoff, but got his voicemail, leaving an upbeat message to call me asap. I then called Toby...cried my heart out while sharing the bad news with him. He cried with me. Shortly after hanging up I called mom's sister Lenay. She is as tough as nails...nails made of lead, but inside, I knew she was torn up. She was going to call mom's brother Bernie, so one less call for me to make. Thankful for that. I then called dad's sister Lassa. She calls mom three times a day, and was so very worried. She said she would take care of calling Dave and Jan. Just then a dear older woman walked over to me and asked if I would like to meet with a chaplain. I wholeheartedly said yes...and she led me into a private little room off the waiting room lobby.
Knock knock....the chaplain has arrived. A kind soul, a very gentle spirited man. Happened to be the same man that was there the morning my dad died 5 years ago. Thank you Lord for sending someone so special. He listened through my sobs to what I had just found out about my dear mom, and gave a kind smile, just before we prayed. Then another knock at the door, and Lindsey and baby Adlee walked in. She set down the carseat and just hugged me. Grandma Jo is very special to all the kids, but Lindsey and her grandma have a special bond, formed when Lindsey was very small. She took care of Lindsey on many occasions and they spent so much time together. Lindsey wiped tears, then sat down while we visited with one other pastor and prayed again. Soon they told us we could go up to mom's room as she was out of recovery and in her room.
In room 407 we found a very special and dear woman. A woman who never complains. She was in and out of sleep coming out of the anestesia. The doctor told me she would be happy to explain everything if I did not feel comfortable doing so. Lindsey felt we should wait until mom was awake and clearly thinking. Shortly after that, the doctor walked in to explain what she had found during surgery. Mom received the bad news like any other, and quietly said while holding the doctor's hand "it is as it is, and we will deal with it as a family." Never once did she mention that she has been doctoring for over 2 years now, and why didn't anyone find this!! I was feeling like screaming that from the top of my lungs, but mom being the amazing woman she is, instead, thanked her doctor for finding the mass. After the doctor left I apologized for not telling her sooner, but told her we thought it might be best to wait for the doctor. She told me she thought something was up when she looked at me. I tried not to cry, but anyone that knows me at all, knows I wear my heart on my sleeve, available for all to see my emotions, like it or not.
Toby showed up shortly after the doctor had shared the news....locked his office to drive up to GF to give me support on this sad day. He is the best husband and best friend a woman could ask for. Aaron came along. Toby told me later, on the drive home that night, Aaron sobbed quietly while looking out the window in the dark. Everyone loves Grandma so much. This just can't be happening.
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