Hug your mom today ~

I sit today listening to the rain gently falling outside, cars driving past splashing through puddles. Seems the harder I try focusing on the paperwork my desk holds, the harder it is to concentrate. All I can think of is how quickly life can change, how five minutes in one day can change the future forever.

Two weeks ago I sat near my mom's bed at Altru Hospital. She was recovering from surgery that morning.  Earlier that day we got up early to get to the hospital for her hysterectomy. She was going to have her uterine prolapse and bladder issues fixed.  Little did we know what the doctors would find that day. It is clear in my mind, although when I sat there trying to take it all in, it was as if the world stopped turning.  This is how it unfolded.

3am woke up to find mom still awake...She hadn't slept all night after taking the laxative to prepare her for surgery this morning.  We arrived at the hospital at 5:10am, checked her in and I sat waiting in the lobby alone. Just after throwing away the empty coffee cup I sat down again, to be greeted by mom's surgeon, Dr. Tanna Setness Hoefs.  She pulled up a chair and introduced herself. She started telling me she had bad news. Mom was ok, and in recovery, but upon using the camera scope for the laproscopic hysterectomy, they noticed a spot on mom's omentum. Something that didn't look right, so agreed with the Urologist assisting that they must open mom up to take a further look. Upon doing so, they found a large mass on mom's ovary and and wrapped around her colon.  This indicates cancer, and was much too complicated for them to handle. So she stitched mom up and came to share the news with me. Tears filled my eyes as she grabbed my hand to offer some comfort. I remember hearing the words, but it was as if the world stopped turning...everything turned fuzzy, and the words reached my ears as if muffled in a tunnel.  Could this really be happening? And if it really is happening, why would this be happening to a wonderful lady like my mom? Hasn't she been through enough sadness in her life? Enough struggle? I mean, aren't there so many wicked people in this world that deserve this? Certainly not my mom. There has to be some mistake.  I thanked the doctor and grabbed my purse, barely able to see through the river of tears that were now falling.  I walked out into the lobby, called Lindsey and left her a pitiful message to call me. She called back right away, already on her way to the hospital with her 2 1/2 week old baby Adlee.  Waiting for her, I called Mel, struggling not to cry, but unsuccessful to say the least. After talking to Mel, I tried Geoff, but got his voicemail, leaving an upbeat message to call me asap.  I then called Toby...cried my heart out while sharing the bad news with him. He cried with me. Shortly after hanging up I called mom's sister Lenay. She is as tough as nails...nails made of lead, but inside, I knew she was torn up.  She was going to call mom's brother Bernie, so one less call for me to make. Thankful for that.  I then called dad's sister Lassa.  She calls mom three times a day, and was so very worried. She said she would take care of calling Dave and Jan.  Just then a dear older woman walked over to me and asked if I would like to meet with a chaplain. I wholeheartedly said yes...and she led me into a private little room off the waiting room lobby.

Knock knock....the chaplain has arrived. A kind soul, a very gentle spirited man. Happened to be the same man that was there the morning my dad died 5 years ago.  Thank you Lord for sending someone so special.  He listened through my sobs to what I had just found out about my dear mom, and gave a kind smile, just before we prayed.  Then another knock at the door, and Lindsey and baby Adlee walked in. She set down the carseat and just hugged me. Grandma Jo is very special to all the kids, but Lindsey and her grandma have a special bond, formed when Lindsey was very small. She took care of Lindsey on many occasions and they spent so much time together.  Lindsey wiped tears, then sat down while we visited with one other pastor and prayed again. Soon they told us we could go up to mom's room as she was out of recovery and in her room. 

In room 407 we found a very special and dear woman. A woman who never complains. She was in and out of sleep coming out of the anestesia. The doctor told me she would be happy to explain everything if I did not feel comfortable doing so.  Lindsey felt we should wait until mom was awake and clearly thinking.  Shortly after that, the doctor walked in to explain what she had found during surgery.  Mom received the bad news like any other, and quietly said while holding the doctor's hand "it is as it is, and we will deal with it as a family."  Never once did she mention that she has been doctoring for over 2 years now, and why didn't anyone find this!! I was feeling like screaming that from the top of my lungs, but mom being the amazing woman she is, instead, thanked her doctor for finding the mass.  After the doctor left I apologized for not telling her sooner, but told her we thought it might be best to wait for the doctor.  She told me she thought something was up when she looked at me.  I tried not to cry, but anyone that knows me at all, knows I wear my heart on my sleeve, available for all to see my emotions, like it or not.

Toby showed up shortly after the doctor had shared the news....locked his office to drive up to GF to give me support on this sad day. He is the best husband and best friend a woman could ask for. Aaron came along. Toby told me later, on the drive home that night, Aaron sobbed quietly while looking out the window in the dark. Everyone loves Grandma so much. This just can't be happening.